Lil' Lady - Different from other young ladies

I have known Lil' Lady for a few years now. I can't give her name because she wants to be anonymous. And I understand that. She is very very bright. I have liked her from Day 1.

She was born after her brother, and they lived with their parents. Then when she was around 10 or 11, her Dad found out his wife was cheating on him when he came home one day early. This led to a messy divorce. Lil' Lady stayed with Mom and the brother went with the Dad.

Then her Mother remarried. And the man she married was a child molester who tried to get Lil' Lady to watch porn. She resisted and ultimately flew to her Dad's home. I don't mean by plane. She fled her Mom's home. She went back and forth until finally she had to leave her Mom's home for good via court and counselling.

I remember her tears at being torn apart inside.

For the last year plus I haven't heard from her very much and had seen her even less than that. An occasional email, which always brightened my day; or that very rare stop by to say 'Hello, Ma!" That's what the kids called me. Only occasionally did one or two address me the proper manners way by "Mrs." and my last name.

Lil' Lady settled in with Dad. But she also had to settle in with his live-in girlfriend and her daughter. And wouldn't you know it! She even had to share the same name of the girlfriend's daughter.

Her Dad and his girlfriend had two children together, both girls. There was no love between the Dad and his girlfriend. I was at their house often enough to get the drift and hear stories from Lil' Lady, and the girlfriend's daughter.

Lil' Lady, with an occasional slump (understandably) did well in High School. She earned her Diploma. She finally found a young man she stuck with for almost 3 years. The kids called him Harry Potter because he looks like the image from the movies and books. And they are right. Lil' Lady and Harry broke up a few weeks ago.

And a few months ago her Dad kicked out his girlfriend but was awarded custody of their two little girls. (I believe one is 5 and the other 8 now . . )

About 3 weeks ago, I was back here on the computer. Which is exactly what this room is made for . .

There was a slightly timid knock and I yelled, "Come in!" but the person didn't hear me so I walked to the door and opened it to see a sad Lil' Lady and her asking, "Hi, Ma. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you much, but can I come in?"

My heart just melted. Of course she could come in. She will always be welcomed here. I've been wanting to talk to her for ages.

She's almost 19, working and making plans to go to the local Community College. What does her Dad do? He picked a fight and kicked her out of the house. He was complaining about her taking pills . . which she used to do but hasn't in quite a while. She's realized the error of doing that.

So she grabbed what she could and where does she head? Praise the Lord she comes here. I have nothing fancy here. A mishmash of furniture, sometimes more that a hint of being a messy; 2 gorgeous cats, a TV and a PC. That's about it.

I asked her if she'd mind coming in the back. I was at the computer, but she could sit and we'd talk. And we did. She looked just awful. She has these, uh, well, black rectangular shaped glasses which make her look very prim and proper.

She called her Aunt to see if she could stay there. She knows she can stay here, but I let them make their own decisions and I give my input. So that's what she did. Her Aunt picked her up down by her Dad's home.

Just as she was relaxing at her Aunt's home and starting to settle down emotionally, a few days later the Police show up at the door. Her Dad had called a Doctor, shared his concerns about her and arranged for an involuntary drug test for her. This poor girl had to sit in the back of the Police Car, in front of neighbours. And she had done nothing wrong!

Her Dad is so into himself that he doesn't keep up with what she's doing, has done and has quit doing. The hospital ran tests and she tested CLEAN! I couldn't have been more pleased.

She called me from the hospital. She was in tears. She talked to my son who readily said, "Yes. I'll be right there." to her question, "I'm sorry Paul. I have no ride. Could you come and pick me up?"

He drove her to her Aunt's home. She lives in a little town about 10 minutes from here.

Lil' Lady is back home now. She surprised me one day. As we talked she told me. I reacted, "You're what???" Yes. He has told her he has Cancer. Some kind of tumour behind his eye. But he's having Chemo.

My neighbours (downstairs) have a Granddaughter who is Lil' Lady's cousin, her Dad's niece. And they don't trust her Uncle much either. And they question whether he really has Cancer. I was shocked, but they have more insight into that family than I do.

But I don't know. I have asked Lil' Lady where he's getting the Chemo. Twice she's told me she doesn't know. I find that difficult to understand. Her Dad won't tell her? But that's another story . . it's still playing out.

A few days ago she was heading out with my son to two mutual friend's home. But we had time to sit and gab.

She is just amazed that so many of her friends are having babies. She is absolutely determined she is not going to have children yet. She has goals and said if she wants to be around a baby, all she has to do is visit one of her friends.

She said, "Maybe I'm weird . ." I wouldn't let her continue. She's normal! That is exactly how she should feel. She even shook her head over how many guys these friend's had slept with. Though now it's not slept with . . they have sex and they go their separate ways.

I looked at her and I told her what I've been thinking for quite a while. That while I so regretted all these girls getting pregnant, knowing that the overwhelming majority would not be getting married, that I was, at the same time, relieved they weren't having abortions.

Was I right about the girls realizing exactly what abortion is . . the murder of an unborn child? She emphatically said, "Oh, you bet! I would never have an abortion!" I smile and asked, "Is that what girls think today around here?" "Yes!" That made me smile.

That and she added later on in our conversation the D.A.R.E. program has been ended in the local school system. I said, "WHAT???" I had been saying for ages that all D.A.R.E. did was teach kids exact how to use drugs, what the effects to expect. and what was used with them . . the paraphernalia.

I almost jumped out of my seat. "NO MORE D.A.R.E.?" AWESOME!!

She told me she learned everything she knows about drugs, from that program, since the 5th Grade. Wasn't D.A.R.E. great??

This has been a great last few weeks. My son and Lil' Lady are good friends and it's nice for all of us to be reunited again.