One Girl At A Time: Megan

Written on: June 20, 2007

When it seemed that the Ministry the Lord gave me was ending . . oh was I wrong! The Boy's Club is not as active. Most are getting on with their lives, one way or another. Then the girls started arriving. Each one has had to face difficulties and gone through rebellion . .

I am fascinated by biographies or autobiographies. And here the Lord is bring people right in my home to help, listen to or guide them.

~Megan~

She is married to an active Marine. But he is not holding up the standards for being a Marine and a husband. She takes care of their two daughters while he is down South, living with a married woman. All this is due to come to an end.

Megan had hoped for a reunion. Roughly 16 months ago her husband was up for a visit. That is why they now have two daughters. Toni is 2 and Kaylyn is almost 7 mos. old. Sadly, when Dad went back down South so did his concerns.

Megan finally contacted his Captain (or whatever title) and laid out her complaints. The final blow was when just a few weeks ago her husband refused to send her money to get their two year old medicines she needed. Megan had put up with a lot, but this was the final straw.

Her husband has to move back on base and live in the barracks. Money from his income will automatically go to Megan and the girls. It's not much, but it's better than not knowing if you get any and no more begging. If he didn't agree to it, he'd be thrown in the Brig. And she'd still get the money.

About two years ago, I started to get to know Megan better. She was toying with being a lesbian. And when she and her 'friend' came here and I saw the snuggling, I went into another room with my son. I made it clear, in no uncertain terms, she was to STOP that here in my home, or leave! If he didn't say anything, I would. "No Mom. I'll say something." He knew I was serious.

I'm not sure if she got married before or just after she found out she was pregnant. (This ties in with my first blog . . abortion was not an option.) I held Toni (Antoinette) when she was a mere two weeks old . . if that.

My son has such a distinct father instinct. He just loves kids. He wasn't too sure at first about holding Toni. But now, Toni just loves her 'Uncle Paulie'. And Toni broke him in. There was no problem holding Kaylyn. My son drove Megan to the hospital when she went into labour.

Megan stayed here recently for about a month. I won't go into the why for now. But for reasons beyond her control, her Mom and they had to move out from where they were living. Grandma & Toni moved in with Grandma's parents. Megan, who had a boyfriend, moved into his Mom's home with the baby. And both residences are trailers. It is a nice looking park though.

This was how we gained a Guinea Pig named "Baby". He belonged to her Mom. But her Mom had nowhere for him to live now and desperately needed a home. My initial reaction was no. But my son begged me. I had no idea how much he loved him. And now he's officially part of our family. And he and the cats get along just fine.

One night Megan called. He had grabbed Kaylyn out of the car very roughly. And Megan got very upset. Her boyfriend, in his Mom's presence hit her while she was holding the baby. There was pushing and shoving and when she tried to call the Police, on HER PHONE, his Mom grabbed the phone out of her hand by her ear and hurt her. They called the Police.

My son and our friend Ed downstairs flew over to help in any way they could. When they got there, the Police were there already. Long story short . . yeah like I do that. LOL She came back here. The next day she went to the Police Station and filed a report. She showed them her bruises. She has a Restraining Order active on him.

I had to lay down some rules. I am disabled and in no condition to take care of children. I was not going to be a babysitter. We had some rough patches. She didn't like it when I woke her to take care of her baby.

And one night, unknown to me, she fell asleep on the porch . . . .

I found out because some noise woke me. She had switched kids and her 2 year old was here. I got up and opened the door of her room. There was Toni with Buddy, our sweet new addition to our cat family. She started to get up, but I quietly told her to stay there. I would get her Mom.

I couldn't find her and I started to panic. I opened my front door and called out and no answer. I came back in and looked around. No Megan . . Finally I went out into the front hall and carefully, so as not to fall down, made my way to our porch. (We live upstairs.)

She was sleeping in a chair with her phone in her hands. It took some doing, but I finally woke her up and made her stand up. Of course she had to have that cigarette, but then she came in and went in to the room with her daughter.

That child was awake at 2 a.m. Praise the Lord I woke up. At that age, a two year old can get very inquisitive. She knows how to open the door and she could have walked right out.

Another time she had a candle lit in her room. And she was falling asleep. She fought my request to blow it out. "I can't see the baby." Before someone bought her a nice bed (like a playpen kinda) for Kaylyn, Kaylyn was sharing the bed with Mom. (This wasn't the first time.) I said, "You don't need to see her. It's a fire hazard. Turn on the light." The overhead light in that room is a dull light. Finally she said, "Fine!" And she blew it out. Another night I was looking for her . . .I never slept a sound night. She was in the hall, in a chair, wrapped in a blanket. In her hand was a cigarette which had thankfully gone out. I just about flipped. She came in the house after a cigarette and went to bed.

What has happened to common sense?

I had to have a sit down with her. One morning, I was up before them. I had been on the porch enjoying the very warm morning. When I came back in, I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I heard them get up. Megan put the baby in the walker and said, "Ma, I'm going on the porch for a cigarette." I said, "Take her with you. It's beautiful out there. She can't move the walker yet." "But I'm just having a cigarette." I said, "Megan, take her out. Let her have some fresh morning air too." "FINE! I'll take her." she pouted and the baby enjoyed the morning air with her Mom.

I finally had a chance to let her know how upset she'd made me. She apologized and never gave me an ounce.

And at the time my son had a job that started at 6 a.m. So he had to get to sleep early and up early . . around 4:45 a.m. He has slept on the couch for months, ever since he stretched 3 or 4 ligaments in his left leg. Sometimes she'd be gone for a couple of days (staying with her Mom) and arrive back here around 11 p.m. My son would just be falling asleep and in she'd arrive barking orders to him to help her. He finally had to tell her to stop bugging him. He needed to sleep.

Recently, when she was gone, I did call her. I wanted to know if she was coming back that night. And if she was, come early so as to let Paul fall asleep later. He'd had a very difficult day and needed uninterrupted sleep. She let me know she was coming back the next day. She didn't.

If I sound like a meanie, I'm really not. When my son was 10 weeks old his Dad, my husband, died very much unexpectedly. There I was, at the age of 36 with total care of the baby on my shoulders. This was my one and only offspring.

I do know what it's like to be a Mom 24/7. I haven't a single complaint. It wasn't easy. It was hard many times. And I had very little relief. But God had given him to me and I took the job seriously and lovingly. And with HIM to guide me . . I now look back and wonder at how fast the 24 years has passed.

Up until living with us . . she was pretty much able to leave the kids with her Mom and have quite a bit of free time. I was not going to take up the slack. I couldn't take it up. Physically, I can't hold anything upwards of 15-20 pounds very long. I can't walk very well. So all I could offer was shelter and food.

And that is what she got. I love her dearly. I love her kids. I also love my privacy. But when they were here . . I didn't have as much. But I could live with that. She hadn't been here for just over a week recently. I'm not responsible for what she does. She doesn't have to call and explain to me. But just 4 days ago, last Saturday she showed up with Toni in tow. Toni gives hugs and kisses. She was moving out. Okay, no problem.

She and her Mom have an apartment they hope. I hope so too. I can understand Megan living with her Mom . . but I know it has to be very rough for her Mom, a few years younger than me, living with her parents after all this time.

Megan is a very friendly and loving individual. She would do everything in the world for you. And that's wonderful. But she so needs some steadiness in her life. She needs to focus on her family. Because of the wicked world we live in, she finds herself with two totally dependent youngsters. She doesn't want to hear about Jesus yet. But maybe someday, before it's too late.

All this turmoil and how old is Megan?

She is only 19!